How do narcissists show love in a long-term relationship?

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  1. Narcissists may appear to show love in a long-term relationship, but their expressions of love often differ from healthy, mutual affection. Here's how it typically plays out:

    1. Love Bombing (Early Stage)
    Over-the-top affection, gifts, attention, and praise.

    Designed to create emotional dependency and admiration.

    2. Conditional Affection
    Their "love" is often transactional—based on what you do for them.

    Affection is given or withdrawn to control or manipulate.

    3. Grand Gestures, Not Daily Care
    They may make impressive public displays of love but struggle with consistency, empathy, or compromise in private.

    It’s more about looking like a good partner than actually being one.

    4. Lack of Emotional Depth
    Struggles with true emotional intimacy.

    May mimic loving behavior but lack genuine empathy or understanding of a partner’s needs.

    5. Possessiveness & Control
    Mistakes control for care; may say things like “I just love you so much, I can’t let you out of my sight.”

    Can become jealous or manipulative under the guise of love.

    6. Idealize-Devalue-Discard Cycle
    Starts with idealizing the partner, then gradually criticizes or devalues them.

    Love can be weaponized to maintain power or avoid abandonment.

    Some narcissists fall on the spectrum of narcissistic traits, not all are abusive or malicious. But in many cases, their version of "love" is self-centered, inconsistent, and conditional, more about fulfilling their needs than building mutual connection.

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